


If I keep my eyes closed, he looks just like you

by sxlvita



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Bisexual Danny "Danno" Williams, Bisexual Steve McGarrett, First Kiss, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 19:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11259213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxlvita/pseuds/sxlvita
Summary: Danny really wants to forget about Steve McGarrett for just one night. However, when do we get what we want in life?





	If I keep my eyes closed, he looks just like you

**Author's Note:**

> Title borrowed from song "Eyes Closed" by Halsey. I suck at titles, so I apogolize.   
> I also apologize for any errors you may find regarding the language, since English is not my native tongue.   
> This is my first McDanno/H50 fic, so I hope you like it!
> 
> I do not own any of H50 characters or universe.

The week had been a slow one. Two easy, open-and-shut cases involving rather idiot perps with poor strategies. The team had decided to go out on Friday, relax and pretend that their job was just the same as any other and that their little going-out didn't have to do with the fact that they didn't know what the next week would bring, which meant that they didn't know if they would be able to go out the next weekend. 

Danny was feeling calm and happy, that weekend it was Grace's weekend at his house and he had already planned the activities for the next two days, intended to spend as much time with his daughter as he could. He met Chin at the bar after parking the Camaro, and they headed inside to wait for the others to show up.

Steve showed up moments later with Kono arriving ten minutes after, and they ordered a few drinks while they made small talk. Kono was already longing for the next morning, where she would meet with a few of her surfer friends to go to the North Shore. She had invited Steve too, but apparently he had already planned to work on the Mercury and fix a few things on the house. 

The waitress came with their drinks and smiled a little more widely at Steve, who returned the smile. Danny felt a little tug in his stomach, and rolled his eyes quickly, not wanting to be seen by the others.

"She's cute, boss." Said Kono, laughing. "You should go for it."

Steve blushed slightly. "Oh, now you've embarrased him, cuz." Chin laughed too as he took a sip from his drink. Danny and Steve's eyes met and he smirked.

"Not so Smooth Dog now, are you, McGarrett?" Danny tried to hide the smugness in his voice but couldn't help it. Steve quirked an eyebrow at him and reached for his drink, standing up from the chair. 

"I'll show you how much smooth I can be, Danno." He said as he walked over to the bar where the waitress was taking orders and glancing at them (at Steve) from time to time.

Danny wished Steve had meant it in a whole different way than he did. He wished Steve showed him how smooth he could be, he wanted to be the one who got Steve's attention, to be the one that made Steve blush like a teenager. 

Danny had fallen completely in love with his partner, and he couldn't help to have stupid thoughts about the things he wanted to do with Steve (and to Steve) but he was sure he made a very good job at hiding it. It was easy because they were so close and every single show of affection Danny made went unnoticed by Steve, who a) thought all those things were just Danny's personality and the deep friendship they had, and b) was clueless when it came to people flirting and liking him.

He also wasn't stupid, as he was aware of the fact that Steve was pretty straight, and even if he wasn't, he didn't felt the same as Danny and never would. Steve considered Danny his best friend, his partner, a brother in which he could rely on. He would never see him as anything more than that, and Danny had come to terms with it: he would take anything he could get from Steve, and his friendship was more than enough.

Which didn't exactly mean he liked seeing Steve flirting with other women, of course. As he watched Steve from his seat at the table, he started to get even more irritated, but didn't want the others to figure out what was going on, so he concentrated on the drink in his hand.

Steve had kept talking with the waitress at the bar, and Danny had to admit she was pretty. Brown hair, nice features, warm eyes. She had a nice laugh and everything, and Steve was clearly making a good impression of himself. He kept talking to the cousins instead of focusing on that, and decided to call it a night half an hour later. He put some some excuse about having to pick up Grace early in the morning and went for the exit, waving at Steve who watched him with a smile and raised his glass at him as he left.

~*~

The thing about having put up a excuse about Grace, is that it was a lie. Rachel would drop her at his house after breakfast, so he didn't have to get up early. The prospect of going to his empty and boring house didn't appeal to Danny at all, so he drove around for a while until he reached another bar. Why let Steve be the only one who took someone home that night?

He knew he was doing it out of pure jealousness, but he pushed the thought out of his head as he sat in one of the stools and ordered a drink. The bartender put it in front of his face and he nodded to thank him, sipping it slow. He also knew he couldn't drink anymore than this, not while having to drive back to his place on his own.   
Fortunately, he didn't wait long until someone approached him. 

"Hey", said the guy, and Danny was pleased. He was as bisexual as they came, but tonight he wasn't feeling the whole girl thing. Probably hadn't been feeling it since he fell in love with the idiot he had for a partner, but that was just part of the sexual frustration. Danny liked women, a hell lot, but they were the complete opposite of what he had been wanting for a while.

When he looked up, Danny laughed in disbelief. The guy was tall, slim, had a military haircut and piercing green eyes. He had well built arms and was in general, very similar to Steve. "I'm sorry, hi" answered Danny.

"What's so funny?" The guy asked, a smirk on his face. He clearly hadn't take Danny's laugh as an offense.

"No, no, sorry. You look like someone I know, that's all." Danny smiled at the guy and stretched his hand. "I'm Danny, nice to meet you."

The guy shook his hand with a smile. "Lucas, it's nice to meet you too." Lucas looked at Danny's almost empty glass. "What are you having?"

"Uh..." Danny looked at the glass too. "Something with a little vodka on it."

"Well, then, can I buy you a drink?" Danny knew he really shouldn't drink anymore, but he wasn't even touched by the alcohol yet so he smiled at Lucas and nodded. 

 

Turns out that Lucas was not in the military or anything of the sort, but he was a bodyguard for some important people that Danny barely registered. He was a few years younger that Danny and was currently working for a few days in Hawaii, and then he would return to the mainland, to New York, specifically.

They bonded over the East Coast and laughed a lot too, Lucas was funny and flirtatious and Danny wasn't going to deny the guy was gorgeous too, so it wasn't really a surprise when they ended up making out in the elevator of Lucas' hotel.

Danny was invested in pushing Steve out of his mind, but Lucas similarity to his partner wasn't helping. However, there were differences. Lucas kissed him slow, sweet, and there was a part of Danny that wished this was Steve instead, pining him to the wall as he had imagined so many times, kissing him senseless. 

The short ride to the elevator was enough for Danny to get distracted by his thoughts, and to sober up rather quickly. As they were getting closer to Lucas' room, he pushed him slowly and broke their kiss. 

"Lucas, I don't mean to upset you or anything..."

"Oh, I knew this was coming." Lucas smiled, still close to Danny, his hand still on Danny's waist. He sighed as he gave him a sweet but short kiss. "What is it, exactly?"  
Danny looked into the man's eyes and felt guilty. He really was gorgeous and in any other circumstances, Danny would have been glad to lock himself up in a room for the rest of the night with him.

"Remember that I told you you looked like someone I know?" Lucas nodded slightly. "Well, that someone is the guy I'm in love with, and the same guy that doesn't even know about it." Danny looked to the ground and back at Lucas. "Sorry, I didn't mean to cut your night short."

Lucas shrugedd. "It's okay, Danny. I knew something was up anyway." He shook his head. "That guy is really lucky to have you, you know. I can't see how he can possibly not see you."

"Oh, he sees me. Just not the way I want him to." Danny stroked a hand along Lucas hair. "Sorry."

"Nah, it's okay. Don't worry. Have a good night." Lucas said as he walked him to the elevator where they had been kissing five minutes ago and waved him goodbye as the door closed.

 

~*~

 

As he paid the taxi driver off and walked to his car, still parked at the bar, he cursed Steve McGarrett under his breath. Now it was late, and he still didn't wanted to go back to his house, but now it seemed like there was no other choice.

"I can't believe this idiot has managed to somehow enter all the spaces in my life, even this one! I can't even have a fucking one-night stand with a stunning guy to forget him, because no, it turns out that the guy is exactly like him!" Danny talked to himself out loud as he drove back to his home. "I hate him so damn much, and I hate the fact that I'm going to pass out in the couch drunk off my ass and he is going to wake up tomorrow next to a gorgeous, hawaiian girl. Fuck Steve McGarrett."

As he locked the car and entered his house, he got rid of his clothes and slipped on to something more comfortable. He turned on the TV and grabbed a beer, sitting on the couch.

A few minutes had passed when his cellphone started to ring. He groaned, praying that it wasn't work-related, because really, he didn't think he had the will to get up and go chase some criminals.

Fortunately, it wasn't HPD, but it was the next worst thing: Steve. His goofy face stared at Danny in the screen and he groaned again as he answered.

"I hope you have a good reason to call me this late, Steven." Greeted Danny. He could almost see Steve's grin.

"Just wanted to check on you. Swung by your place a few hours ago and you weren't home."

"Swung by my place? Why do you mean with 'swung by my place', Steve? I thought you were going to be doing a completely different thing tonight." Danny tried to keep his jealously in check, but the alcohol had started to make a move on him.

"Oh, you mean the waitress? Yeah, she was nice. Only she had a beautiful girlfriend waiting for her too."

Danny's eyes opened up a little at that and he smirked. "Boo, poor Smooth Dog McGarrett."

"Shut up, Danno." Steve said with a little embarassment on his voice. "Where are you now, anyway?" He asked, a little concerned now. 

"At my house, you idiot. I just got here." Danny let the mistery of his temporal disapperance linger. He didn't want to admit how much a failure his night had been.

"Well, stay up a little longer. I'm going over there." He could hear Steve moving around the house, felt the sound of the truck door closing. 

Danny wished he could tell Steve to back down, to stay at his place, to not come over. But then again, he could never refused anything Steve asked him to do, and he could never refrain Steve from seeing him. After all, everything was a little better with Steve around, even if Danny wanted to punch him for being so Steve, for making Danny love him. Ten minutes later Steve was pulling over next to the Camaro and Danny left the door opened for him as he took two beers from the fridge, which he placed at the coffee table in the living room.

"Hey" Steve smiled at him and closed the door behind him. He was wearing shorts and a Navy t-shirt with a hoodie on top of it. He sat down next to Danny and removed his running shoes to put his feet up in the coffee table.

Danny glared at him. Glared at him not only for having the indecency to put his feet on the coffee table, but also for looking completely comfortable while doing it, for looking like he belonged right there, next to Danny having a beer on a quiet night after work.

Danny took a large sip of his beer and resumed his watching of the football game in front of them.

"So, where were you earlier?" Steve asked, casual, not even looking at Danny. Danny glared at him again, this time long enough for Steve to notice it. "What?"

"Are you my mother, Steven?" He asked him, one eyebrow perched up.

"No, no I'm not, but like I said, I swung by and you weren't home like you said you would be and I got a little worried."

"Well, my idea was to head home but it was still early and I was bored out of my mind so I went somewhere else." Danny stared at the TV once again, hoping this would be the last of Steve's attemps to find out where he had gone.

Of course, as Danny suspected, it wasn't the last.

"So where did you go, Danny?" Steve was sounding a little bit irritated now, and Danny would be lying if he said he didn't like it a little bit. 

"It's not of your business, Steven. I'm an adult, a perfectly good adult who is capable of looking out for himself, so as the adult I am, I didn't come home when I said I would." Danny gesticulated with his hand as he spoke.

"I am fully aware of the fact that you are an adult, Danno, but I still don't understand why you can't tell me where you went."

Danny wasn't sure if the beer had finally gotten to him good or if he was just tired of Steve's little interrogation. He paused the game, turned in the couch, and looked him directly in the eye as he spoke. "I can't tell you where I went because it's embarassing, Steven." He rolled his eyes. "It's embarassing because I went to a bar looking for someone to fuck me enough so I could forget about some things, and life is a bitch enough that she can't stop reminding me of those things."

"What things, Danno?" Steve had looked a little bit shocked, but now was talking softly, seeming worried about him. 

"Things, things, Steven. Things that are even more embarassing than the fact that I am here, in my house, instead of the bed of someone else, where I should be, so please, can we stop taking about this?" Danny sighed, clearly irritated now, but Steve had barely scratched the surface and now was clearly intrigued.

They sat in silence for a while after the little argument and watched the game. The silence between them was never weird, but Danny could practically feel Steve's thoughts swimming around in his head and he knew Steve wouldn't let go of the subject.

He was right. A good twenty minutes and another beer after, Steve hadn't figured out what was so embarassing for Danny that he couldn't tell Steve, his partner, his friend.  
They always told everything to each other, there were no secrets between them, and Steve could always read Danny the right way. Talking out loud sometimes wasn't even a need with them, they both worked so well with each other that words were sometimes unnecesary.

But right now, Steve couldn't figure out and he needed Danny to use words to calm his questioning mind. He also didn't want to cross any boundaries that Danny might have, but he knew everything about the Jersey cop and he felt uncomfortable not knowing this too.

Steve truly knew almost everything about Danny. Knew his body language, knew his fears and his aspirations. Knew things that Danny didn't even know about himself, knew how he liked his coffee and what his favorite song was. Knew his childhood memories and every stupid little detail Danny let him on about his life. 

But there were things that Steve didn't know, and wouldn't get to know. He wouldn't know what it was like to wake up next to Danny on a Sunday morning, wouldn't know what Danny smelled like fresh out of the shower, wouldn't know what it was to kiss him, wouldn't know how it felt to be more than Uncle Steve to Grace, and wouldn't know if Danny liked to cuddle or not while he slept. 

He wanted to get to know every aspect of Danny, including that one, for a long time. But he was sure it was impossible, because Danny just wouldn't see him that way, even if he was bisexual. The relationship had a limit and Steve knew about it, almost always pushing it a little bit further but knowing that it would never go far enough to find out those things about Danny.

"So what happened at the other bar?" Steve muttered, and Danny roled his eyes, unsurprised that Steve wouldn't stop with his questions. 

"You don't give up, huh?" Groaned Danny as he stood and put the two finished beer bottles in the trashcan by the kitchen. He lingered by the sink, both hands on the cold counter.

"Well, you know me." Steve chuckled. "C'mon, Danno, it can't be that bad."

But it was, oh, it was. Danny was exasperated enough with the whole night that he decided to just fuck it and start talking. Steve would never let this go if he didn't tell him, and it would come out one way or the other.

"Well, it is, Steve!" Danny's voice raised a little more than he wanted to, but he was already talking. "It is! It is embarassing because I couldn't get laid, not because I'm not attractive or anything, but because of you. It's your own damn fault I left the bar, and it's your fault that I couldn't fuck a stranger in peace."

Steve's eyes widened as he stood from the couch. "How the hell could that be my fault, Danny? I wasn't even with you when you left! I certainly didn't show up at the other place either!"

"Except that you did, you idiot! You did!" Danny looked up to the ceiling and then back at Steve. "Do you know why I couldn't be with the guy? Well, it was because he was just like you. Not a exact copy, but pretty damn close." Steve froze in the middle of the living room. "And I only wanted to go home with somebody so I could forget about you for one fucking second, and there you are, your twin brother or something. And of course I'm hooked, because he was gorgeous and he reminded me of you and how could I say no to the closest I'm gonna be to kissing you, Steve? Tell me, how could I refuse that when it haunts me every single day?"

Danny finished his rant and felt the weight of the world leave his shoulders before it was back again, because he had just fucked up one of the few good things he had in his life. Steve was still speechless in the living room, and Danny knew it was a matter of time before he left his house and he never saw him again. 

"I'm sorry, Steve, just please don't hate me." Danny whispered. "I didn't even mean to tell this to you, it was never going to happen, I'm sorry. You'll have my resignation tomorrow morning." He felt his throat close at the idea of leaving Five-0, at the idea of leaving Chin and Kono, at the idea of going back to HPD and leaving Steve forever.

He didn't think he could survive on this island without him, he would go back to an even worse place he was before he met him. How could he not? How could he keep living when he had been offered the world and then they had ripped it off from him?

"Danny, what the hell are you talking about? Resignation? Are you insane?" Steve had seemed to start working as a human being again, and was now walking towards Danny. "I don't want you to go, Danny. Not now, not ever. You hear me?"

Danny couldn't look up to him but still answered. "But what about...?" He let the words trail off in the middle of them.

"Danny, I don't think you're understanding me."

"Well, maybe that is because you aren't saying anything, Steve!" Danny scoffed and sighed, irritated. 

"You wanted to kiss me?" Steve whispered, and Danny almost missed it. When he heard it, he thought he was dreaming or imagining things. Well, the damage was already done, and Danny couldn't do anything to fix it, so he answered.

"Yeah, but that doesn't matter and I understand, Steve, I reall..." Danny was cut off when Steve grabbed the back of his neck, making him look up and pressed his lips against his.  
It took Danny a second to realize Steve was kissing him. It took him another second to take Steve's face into his hand and kiss him back gently, trying to enjoy the moment while it lasted. 

When they split up, Danny looked at Steve. He was smiling softly, his eyes filled with absolute affection and Danny didn't understand a thing about what was going on.

"I'm sorry it took you to have an awful night for this to happen, Danno." Steve whispered. "But I'm really glad you had an awful night too."

Danny laughed a little bit in his nervousness. "I still don't think I get what is going on here, Steven." His hands were now in Steve's arms, and he was lightly pressed against him and the counter. 

"I've been in love with you for years, Danny. I just didn't think you felt the same."

As the realization hit Danny, he almost wanted to punch himself and Steve in the face. "Oh my god, we're idiots. Complete and utterly idiots." Steve laughed and Danny only managed to put down Steve for a slow kiss. 

"I still can't believe this is happening." said Steve when they backed away just a little bit of eachother, never splitting up completely. 

"Well, believe it, babe, because now that I know how you feel I'm gonna do it all the time." answered Danny with a laugh, going for another kiss, just because he could, because he wanted to, and because he knew for sure, finally, that Steve wanted him, all of him, now and for years to come.


End file.
